Saturday, June 16, 2012

Jealousy

what surahs help you feel better when you're feeling down and how can i fix my feelings of jealousy, what does the Quran say about jealousy?

Salamu alaykum,
I apologize for responding so late. These past few days have been hectic and I have a test tomorrow as a matter of fact, but I’m taking a break right now (a.k.a. I hardly studied and decided it’s time for a tumblr break lol). I also don’t like to respond to these type of questions right away unless I know I can respond well because they have to do with Islam and the last thing I would want is to respond with a wrong answer, so inshAllah I don’t misguide anyone with my response. This is a really good question and inshAllah the response is beneficial to other people as well as myself.
The sourah that always makes me feel better when I’m down is surah adh Dhuha (The Morning Light.) I can’t even stress that enough. When I was going through a really tough time months ago, I was really drawn to this sourah. The verses just spoke to me subhanAllah. Later I found out that when one is overcome by anxiety and distress then they should recite Surah adh Dhuha. This surah was revealed to the Prophet Muhammad pbuh when he was going through a tough time and stopped receiving revelations from Allah swt. The people at the time made fun of him and told him that his Lord had forsaken him. He pbuh was feeling really down and felt like Allah was angry with him so Allah swt revealed this surah letting him know that He was pleased with him and that he would be rewarded for his hardships. 
The Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said something really profound that I think will help you fix your feelings of jealousy: he pbuh said: “When you see a person who has been given more than you in money and beauty, look to those, who have been given less.” Reported by Muslim, Hadeeth.
There will always be people who have more than you and those that have less than you. If you look at those that have less than you, that will help you to be more grateful for what Allah swt has blessed you with. 
Jealousy is completely normal, and even the Prophet pbuh’s wives experienced it. Although it’s normal to feel jealous sometimes, it’s important to try to control it and not let it turn into envy. If you see that someone else has something you want and you wish it for yourself that is called ghibtah, which is positive envy.  If you wish that that thing was taken away from them and given to you instead, that is destructive jealousy, which you want to avoid at all costs. There’s a hadith that states: ”None of you will truly believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself”. (Al-Bukhari)
So having destructive feelings of jealousy towards another does not fall under the category of loving for your brother what you love for yourself.
This hadith explains when one should be jealous of another:
“No one should be jealous of anything except two people – a man whom Allah has blessed with knowledge and he teaches it; and a man who has money and he spends it in the sake of Allah.” (Bukhari)
Again, jealousy and envy are natural human emotions, but just because they’re natural does not mean we shouldn’t try our best to control ourselves except in the cases explained in the hadith. 
The Prophet Muhammad pbuh warned against jealousy and envy  and the evil feelings it creates between brothers and sisters in Islam. Hasad (jealousy and envy) is a disease of the heart and makes your heart impure, which is very dangerous for your imaan (faith.) 
The Prophet pbuh said: “Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood.” [Abu Dawood]
These are some verses in the Quran that  relate to jealousy: Allah says: “Allah favored some of you over others with wealth and properties… Do they deny the favors of Allah?” [Soorah an-Nahl [16: 71] “Do they envy men for what Allah has given them of His Bounty?” [Soorah an-Nisa 4: 54] “It is We Who portion out between them their livelihood in this world, and We raised some of them above others in ranks, so that some may employ others in their work. But the mercy of your Lord is better.” 43:32 “And wish not for the things in which Allâh has made some of you to excel others.” 4:32
To help yourself fix the feelings of jealousy first of all like I mentioned earlier, look at those that have less than you in the hopes of feeling grateful for all the blessings Allah has given you.
Second, make duaa to Allah swt to help rid you of this problem. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say in his du’aa’, “Wa’hdi qalbi wa’slul sakheemata sadri (guide my heart and remove ill will from my breast).” The phrase “guide my heart” means to the straight path, and “remove ill will from my breast” means take away all insincerity and hatred. 
Third, Read the Quran and look deeply into the meanings of the verses. Learn the meanings and work on applying them to your life. Especially Surat al-Falaq (The Daybreak.) “Say: “I seek refuge with (Allâh) the Lord of the daybreak”…”And from the evil of the envier when he envies.” (1-5)
Fourth, having negative envious feelings to someone destroys good deeds so while your working on fixing your problem, work on increasing your good deeds to cancel out the bad ones inshAllah. 
Fifth, count your own blessings not theirs. Keep yourself busy and whenever jealous thoughts cross your mind, seek refuge in Allah from the accursed shaytan. 
Jazak’Allah kheir for this question. It really helped me to reflect on myself and my own problems. I’d also like to mention that I have very little knowledge if any at all when it comes to answering questions about Islam. A lot of this is just my opinion, so please refer to a local imam or skeikh if you have more detailed questions regarding rulings. I hope this helped and I didn’t confuse you. 

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